BeltedGirls.com

Hi, I'm new here.
So my partner is really into this, and I'm agreeing to it because I love him and want him to be happy. It's....an uphill struggle for me. We just got our first belt, and I guess it's comfortable enough. It's an adjustable Mysteel belt. I'm having some issues with plugs. He got this plug with it: http://www.my-steel.de/shop/product_inf ... balls.html Ours is 6 inches long from base to tip (including the shaft that attaches to the belt) with a wide ball at the bottom and incrementally smaller ones as you go up. I hate that fucking thing. It hurts SO MUCH. Even standing is painful. Standing straight up is the only way it comes CLOSE to tolerable. Frankly, I think it's too big. the shaft at the bottom is too tall and presses HARD into my pelvic bone whenever I move. The tip of the fucker is basically pushing its way into my cervix. This isn't really a "get used to it" situation.
I don't know what other plugs are out there that we could try. I feel like part of the problem is that the plug doesn't move when it's hooked into the belt, so when I move, the big steel rod impaling me is trying to tear through me like an angry mongol horde. I'm unsure if the problems would be solved with a shorter plug, or if I'll keep having the pelvic bone issue no matter what we try. Any advice would be appreciated.



This whole process has been an emotional nightmare. This is... so fucking important to him, and at this point every setback I have, he takes kind of personally.

So my partner is really into this

I'm unsure if the problems would be solved with a shorter plug

Try a shorter plug!

This is... so fucking important to him, and at this point every setback I have, he takes kind of personally.

Ask him why the plug is important. Discuss it.

If it is to make the belt more effective, because it prevents pulling the belt to the side, then perhaps a smaller plug, and/or thigh bands, might also achieve the same purpose. But I'm speculating. I don't know why he wants the plug.

Ask him.

Hi =^.^=

6 inches for a 1st plug? it's horribly long! you should start with a smaller plug.
If the plug doesn't move in the slot, try some vegetal oil on the slot. It may move easier.

Personally my plug is not very long (4 inches), but it is made of 2 balls: 40 mm (near the rod) and 30 mm (deepest in my vagina). It was painful at the beginning but I got used to it. And I don't have the problem of the plugged blocked in the slot...
If your plug pushes against your bones, it can't be good.

May I ask you 2 questions?
How wide is it? (diameter of the balls)
Do you wear it in vagina or anus?

Courage!

Hello Idontwanttobehere,

My husband and I call this "carrying", and I've been doing this for a very long time (20+ years). Slowly, I've worked to larger and larger things to carry. Right this very moment (and this may scare you) I'm carrying a 150mm long (almost 6") solid stainless insertable that has a 65mm (2.56")ball on top, with a tapered shaft underneath that starts at 59mm and tapers down to 25mm (rounded end) at the bottom. It's inserted big end first, and the ball shape on top and the taper enables me to grip it and hold it in place with my muscles. It took me 20 years of carrying larger and larger things for that to even fit without pain, and early summer of this year I was able to finally carry it for short period of time (a few hours). Now, I can hold it in place and go about my day normally without the tapered end at the bottom ever tapping on the inside of my chastity belt. It weighs about 3 kg (6.75 lbs-ish). I won't say it's pleasant really, but it's only mildly uncomfortable sometimes at this point and most of the time, it's just "there."

Also, I strongly believe the insertable should not be attached to the belt. The angle will be fixed and as you walk, run, sit, the angle of your vaginal canal changes a little bit. If it's not attached, it will move with your body more.

Anyway, our bodies are amazing but they need time to adjust to what we do to them. Start small, carry it for weeks, even months. When it's totally comfortable, then increase the size a little and carry that for weeks, even months. The bigger you go, the more time you're probably going to need to adapt to it. I was carrying the above in a smaller size for almost a year and a half before upgrading to this one. It's okay to go slow, not a race.

Molly

Larrup: I should clarify, my wearing the belt is important to him. It's his biggest fetish and longest fantasy and fulfilling it is a very important goal to him. The plug itself is less a necessity, but my inability to wear it for more than 5 minutes without crying like a baby to getitoffmerightnowomnthepain is the setback. So far, I've been able to wear the belt overnight a few times, but sometimes I bloat and get really uncomfortable and we have to take it off. That itself is tied into the whole struggle of figuring out our actual bdsm dynamic in real life vs our fantasies. I want to be a good partner and sub, but this is... I'm doing this because it's really important to him, but it's not my kink? So part of my struggle with it has been my OWN emotional/comfort issues dealing with it. I'm trying to find ways to make it comfortable so I can do it for him more without crying like a toddler.
He got a plug because I thought the idea of wearing plugs was kind of hot. Conveniently, he thinks it's kind of hot, too.

Wendy: THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING HIM. He's all "your vagina will stretch out! It'll be fine!" A lady in a shoe store tricked me with that line once, and I bought shoes that were several sizes too small because they were cute and I could never ever wear them.
Plug size: I have no idea what the size would be listed as, but using a measuring tape and a handy inches to millimeter converter, apparently the largest ball (near the rod) is 40.64mm, and the smallest (up top) is 22.86mm.
I wear it in my vagina.
I did bring up the notion of wearing one that was totally internal and didn't attach to the plug in any way. He somehow thinks the plug itself would fall out or something. Dude, if I can handle a full day of ben wa balls by themselves, I think I can keep them in just fine while wearing a belt. I think his engineer brain is just too focused on fixing the attaching to belt problem.
EDIT: Oh, we're getting me fitted for a carrara belt soonish. LIke, two weeks I think? Apparently you can't attach plugs to those because of the shape of the front cup? So maybe the attachment point thing will solve itself. Downside, he says I may feel like I'm wearing an extra large codpiece. I guess I could dust off my Blackadder cosplay.... Hopefully having something properly fitted instead of "off the rack" will feel better in a lot of ways? (Like corsets! Wheeee!)

Molly:

Also, I strongly believe the insertable should not be attached to the belt. The angle will be fixed and as you walk, run, sit, the angle of your vaginal canal changes a little bit. If it's not attached, it will move with your body more.

I want to print this out and frame it and hang it above the bed. THANK YOU! <3

idontwanttobehere wrote:Wendy: THAT IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN TELLING HIM. He's all "your vagina will stretch out! It'll be fine!" A lady in a shoe store tricked me with that line once, and I bought shoes that were several sizes too small because they were cute and I could never ever wear them.

He is both right and wrong.
Your vagina can stretch, this is normal. But until when? it has stretch limits. And if the plug reaches your bones, you really should insist on: your vagina can extend, but he can't move your bones.

If I were you I would toss this stupid plug away. You are unable, force him to understand it's undoable for you! INSIST!
He could seriously injure you with this steel plug. So why not asking him to try softer toys (maybe you tried...)?

Personally I tried my My-Steel plug on a Tollyboy belt (lended by a fan). We tried his plug (designed for the Tollyboy): he clearly saw it didn't get in (the plug was too long for my vagina). He pulled it out and he tried my My-Steel plug. But: the Tollyboy slot was wider than on My-Steel belt. We went outdoors (I was plugged), and after few hours, I felt pain in me. The fan didn't believe me, he thought I was whining for pleasure... I insisted, and he unlocked the belt: my vulva had WOUNDS!
Besides, when I tried my My-Steel plug for the 1st time, it was horrible. But after few weeks of training, I was able to wear it well. But 6 inches? it's too long!

Sometimes, people don't understand their fantasies are undoable. Molly's advice are really good: your body needs to get used to a huge plug. Maybe it's impossible. But if it's possible, it will take a very long time.

Are you vindictive against him for this bad experience?

idontwanttobehere: You have read the wise advice from women who self wearing chastity belts.

My advice is that you FIRST must get used to the chastity belt, then MAYBE it's time to use a plug! But it will certainly not be attached to your chastity belt. (He may begin to distinguish between fantasy and reality?) Your chastity belt with this plug is more like an inhibitor bar for punishment! Try instead such as your ben-wa balls or a short soft dildo. But FIRST get used to your chastity belt!!!

Tobbe wrote:But FIRST get used to your chastity belt!!!

I approve!

My husband is an engineer too and it's his way of thinking that all problems are technical and all problems have technical solutions. He just has to figure out the technical answer and often he obsesses towards that answer.

Sometimes I have to remind him the technical solution is "no" or "not yet".

Molly

molly wrote: Also, I strongly believe the insertable should not be attached to the belt. The angle will be fixed and as you walk, run, sit, the angle of your vaginal canal changes a little bit. If it's not attached, it will move with your body more.

Yeah the plug NEEDS to be able to move with her. Thing is it should be able to in that belt. It should be able to both tilt and slide freely along the slot: https://youtu.be/eejD4i5Ri-I

It sounds like somethings wrong.