What do you get out of chastity? (From both sides)
Posted: 14 Nov 2014, 08:40
Hi everybody.
While I've been catching up on all the action that I've missed since the last time I was active here (about a year ago), I've noticed that there seems to be lots of really good experience and advice on the practicalities of chastity, and the physical joys and difficulties of it (all of which is quite fascinating, of course), but there's perhaps not quite so much discussion about the psychology behind it.
The only previous experiences that I've had with chastity didn't actually involve physical chastity at all; but rather, I've been lucky enough to find partners who have been able to hand over full control over all of their orgasms and sexual pleasure to me purely on a trust basis. When it's worked out well, it's been one of the most intimate, satisfying relationship experiences that I've ever had, but then not everyone who's submissive necessarily has the willpower or the self-discipline to do it.
I suppose that's where my fascination for female chastity has come from - i.e. the idea that it can be used as a practical tool to help someone to give up that control over her own sexuality, even when she maybe lacks the willpower to do it all on her own. In that respect, I'm not all that keen on chastity belts as a thing in themselves, but they're a powerful means to an end.
Now I've always assumed that everyone else has more or less the same underlying motivations as I do (or the submissive counterparts thereof); but I'm not sure, because that tends not to be the focus of discussion.
I don't know - maybe it's so obvious to most people that it goes without saying! But I'm really interested in hearing other people's individual take on it. Not the 'hows', but the 'whys'.
For those who are locked up (or who want to be), what made you want to give control of such an important, instinctive aspect of your life to someone else? How does it make you feel to know that you're controlled in that way? Could you submit to the control without having the belt to help you? Has wearing it given you more self-control, or are your desires become more uncontrollable than ever for being constrained? Does your interest in locked up even have anything to do you wanting to sexually submit to another person, or is there some other reason for it?
For those who hold the keys, or would want to - what do you get out of it? Is it just the abstract satisfaction of being in control of a woman's sexuality, or does it actually improve your life in some tangible way? Do you use it as a means of controlling her wider behaviour? Do you want to do it mainly for her or mainly for you? If you were able to train a woman to only be able to cum with your permission, then would you be happy to get rid of the physical belt altogether?
I know exactly what I get out of it, but I'd still find it difficult to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. I love the intimacy of it - the way it forms a permanent sexual bond between the two of you, even when you're not together. It's almost like having a sexual experience 100% of the time, because the thought of it is always there. I also love having that sheer, visceral power over my loved one, that I can exert using only a few words, completely on a whim. I love to play with that power, teasing and denying her, and watching her fall into an all-encompassing state of submission in which she's perfectly focused on me. And possibly above all, I love the sacrifice that it represents, and the fact that she's willing to make that sacrifice for me.
That's it from me for now (I'm going to have to have a cold shower now!), but I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts.
While I've been catching up on all the action that I've missed since the last time I was active here (about a year ago), I've noticed that there seems to be lots of really good experience and advice on the practicalities of chastity, and the physical joys and difficulties of it (all of which is quite fascinating, of course), but there's perhaps not quite so much discussion about the psychology behind it.
The only previous experiences that I've had with chastity didn't actually involve physical chastity at all; but rather, I've been lucky enough to find partners who have been able to hand over full control over all of their orgasms and sexual pleasure to me purely on a trust basis. When it's worked out well, it's been one of the most intimate, satisfying relationship experiences that I've ever had, but then not everyone who's submissive necessarily has the willpower or the self-discipline to do it.
I suppose that's where my fascination for female chastity has come from - i.e. the idea that it can be used as a practical tool to help someone to give up that control over her own sexuality, even when she maybe lacks the willpower to do it all on her own. In that respect, I'm not all that keen on chastity belts as a thing in themselves, but they're a powerful means to an end.
Now I've always assumed that everyone else has more or less the same underlying motivations as I do (or the submissive counterparts thereof); but I'm not sure, because that tends not to be the focus of discussion.
I don't know - maybe it's so obvious to most people that it goes without saying! But I'm really interested in hearing other people's individual take on it. Not the 'hows', but the 'whys'.
For those who are locked up (or who want to be), what made you want to give control of such an important, instinctive aspect of your life to someone else? How does it make you feel to know that you're controlled in that way? Could you submit to the control without having the belt to help you? Has wearing it given you more self-control, or are your desires become more uncontrollable than ever for being constrained? Does your interest in locked up even have anything to do you wanting to sexually submit to another person, or is there some other reason for it?
For those who hold the keys, or would want to - what do you get out of it? Is it just the abstract satisfaction of being in control of a woman's sexuality, or does it actually improve your life in some tangible way? Do you use it as a means of controlling her wider behaviour? Do you want to do it mainly for her or mainly for you? If you were able to train a woman to only be able to cum with your permission, then would you be happy to get rid of the physical belt altogether?
I know exactly what I get out of it, but I'd still find it difficult to describe to someone who hasn't experienced it. I love the intimacy of it - the way it forms a permanent sexual bond between the two of you, even when you're not together. It's almost like having a sexual experience 100% of the time, because the thought of it is always there. I also love having that sheer, visceral power over my loved one, that I can exert using only a few words, completely on a whim. I love to play with that power, teasing and denying her, and watching her fall into an all-encompassing state of submission in which she's perfectly focused on me. And possibly above all, I love the sacrifice that it represents, and the fact that she's willing to make that sacrifice for me.
That's it from me for now (I'm going to have to have a cold shower now!), but I'm interested to hear other people's thoughts.