What stage of chastity wear process is going on here???

[Pyra Gorgon]

Yanno, I think this chastity belt wearing has psychological stages to it similar to the five stages of grief (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) or to the 5 stages of change (pre-contemplation, contemplation, preparation/determinism, action/willpower, maintenance). Maybe it's not, either.

I don't know, my feelings are conflicted. I feel stupid doing this, feel bored, and getting a negative return on the question of cost/benefit lines of thinking. I really HATE feeling stupid about something, and that spectre is laying cold hands on my mental shoulders. WTF am I am doing with this???

Am I in some crazy negative stage of chastity belt wearing, or what? Do we all get caught up in our feelings like this at some point or does it only happen to us chastity DIY'ers who are not living with our keyholders?

At first, the thrill and taboo and DOING it was the carrot on the stick. Then the belt was absolute crap and painful and a challenge to see if it could be done up right...then got caught up in the craftiness and hobby of working on it...success! but then what? There is no thrill to this anymore. For what purposes do I deny myself pleasures without a keyholder in my life, in my physical space, one that I can focus and use these energies for? I got nothing and this really feels like a black hole.

I do not live with anyone that is participatory in this chastity adventure and it all just seems very hollow and boring now. I'm locked for what now??? How did you answer these questions? Did you come to the conclusion that I am about to reach? (it's dumb to do this alone, seriously dumb going this alone, find a more interesting hobby to get involved in)

Any ladies out here gone through these same feelings? What did you do? Cuz I know what I am about to do...

[Tobbe]

Pyra! Continue a few more days and see how you react after that. You are in a stage where the chastity belt is becoming a daily thing. With or without Key holder you come to this stage. Did you have a Key holder, you would have no other choice than to continue wearing the chastity belt.

Your numbered seals do that you can´t take of the chastity belt without disclosing it. Now let us here at BeltedGirls be your Key holder, and prove to us that your chastity belt is on a couple of days more. A picture with a newspaper and unbroken seal gives us proof that you had it on all the time.

[Pyra Gorgon]

I can't do this alone anymore. "Alone" means in my really REAL physical life, in my touching space, my eye-to-eye personal energy spaces with people I can touch, see, smell, read their body language and snuggle against his strong chest. That kind of real is not present with this chastity stuff. Instead, I have fake internet ersatz un-real pixelated parodies of life and emotional well-being. In the banquet of LIFE, internet stuff is just a picture of food on a napkin, not even a morsel! I'm ravenous for the meal and I do not want to wait any longer.

I want a relationship with a real man in real life. I love wearing a chastity belt, but I want a real relationship more than a belt.

I just feel too stupid doing this. I've met a man who thinks I'm a retard for doing this when we could be having wonderful sex IN REAL LIFE. Gratifying, emotionally connective and relationship building intimacy. Instead, I'm fuckin' around with a chastity belt. what am I doing other than being an idiot???

So what am I doing with this chastity thing? More to point, WHO AM I DOING IT FOR??? My boyfriend has no interest in it and he made me feel like a #1 idiot last night with the dressing down talking to I got. He asked me pointed questions that I positively did not have good answers for. He shamed me and put me to silence over this. I hate that. I seriously hate that.

Yes, I've shown I can wear a belt. But...so what? For whom? For me? that is super stupid. For some people on the internet? even MORE stupid! For my boyfriend? um NO! he does not want this. It pisses him off even more than he is not holding the key to it (he is a traditional man with old values and attitudes very dominant and feels shorted, cannot blame him)

Chastity does not work alone, and does not work in relationship where the man does not want it. I cannot see two ways about it.

This makes me very sad, but that is just the way things are, I guess. There is no winner in this game and I do not get to set the rules.

I need a break from this and clear my head and decide what is most important to me. Perhaps this is why not many women are into chastity belts...

The man I am seeing gave me a choice: keep playing with chastity belts and do it alone, or be with him. he is fed up with it. he is a good man and there is no reason I should subject him to this stuff when he is not into it.

[Tobbe]

I understand you Pyra.
Stands the choice between a chastity belt or relationship, you did right. It does not work that only one partner likes chastity belt. Neither the man wants the woman wearing it, or that you want to wear it, but he dislikes it.

You have at least shown it works for women to wear chastity belts in daily life. Given all here on BeltedGirls helpful advice, how a poor Chinese belt can be improved both in terms of function and safety.

[Pyra Gorgon]

I understand you Pyra.
Stands the choice between a chastity belt or relationship, you did right. It does not work that only one partner likes chastity belt. Neither the man wants the woman wearing it, or that you want to wear it, but he dislikes it.

You have at least shown it works for women to wear chastity belts in daily life. Given all here on BeltedGirls helpful advice, how a poor Chinese belt can be improved both in terms of function and safety.

You know me, Tobbe. I would LOVE to wear a chastity belt in the relationship, and know how to make that happen without a ton of B.S. excuses or reasons NOT to. I can suffer quite a bit of discomfort for a thing.

The only reason I can see that is valid for a woman NOT to wear a chastity belt in the relationship is if her man DOES NOT WANT her to be in one. This is what I am up against, and I am left with only a wrong choice and a single right answer for how things ought to be done.

I'm a traditional woman: I am going to do what he wants and makes him happy. If I put anything else before him, like wanting to wear a chastity belt, I am already wrong for that. If he wanted me to wear a belt, I'd be in one in a New York second and love every minute of it!

Not going to argue with him. A wise woman knows when a man makes up his mind, no good comes of nagging the point.

[Admin]

I want a relationship with a real man in real life. I love wearing a chastity belt, but I want a real relationship more than a belt.

It is very sad to read that you find yourself in a situation where you would have to make a choice. A good relationship can not be compared to a chastity belt. The belt within a relationship is great but if that can not be had then being with someone you love without a belt still beats being alone in a belt.

[Larrup]

What is going on is a display of wisdom and maturity. You realize that real meat-space relationships are far more important and valuable than cyber-space relationships, fantasies, or fetishes. And you're right.

I'm going to miss your informative posts. But I'm happy for you.

[gotsteel]

Pyra, is he into BDSM? How about any sort of orgasm control?

[WestsideLady]

Pyra-
I have played the chastity game for over 20 years.. Belted for 1/3 of that and dated multiple people. I didnt out myself to them at all with the belt ever!
I never wore it around them only... by myself. I did this for own reasons. I have many.
If you belt while you are with him.. he sees it a barrier.. tell me you will wear it not in his presence. Its something you do for yourself.
He doesn't get the act of belting solidifies the bond with chastity.
You got caught of guard and it shook you. The belt is what is the issue.. not the mindset you play? What is going to do when he discovers you doing the mental chastity games that we all play? He isn't looking at it realistic eyes.
BTW the one guy I did out myself too.. showed me his...go figure.. now I am KH..LOL

[gotsteel]

If you belt while you are with him.. he sees it a barrier..

That's the thing even among the kinky, chastity belts don't have a long history of being well accepted. (I think that's changing as more people get exposed to the kink but that's another topic)

Even worse it sounds like this got introduced to the significant other as something that prevented him from getting sex not as something he could do to her as a form of foreplay to drive her wild before sex.