This is a kind of different topic.
We talk so much about not being able to cum.
When it is time to, well, what about then?
It is not necessarily going to be easy to have good ones, to satisfy your lovers.
Men think symbolically (which is a problem!).
Women think socially. Your orgasms are a symbol of their self-worth, just as their job is, and your beauty is. You sort of "have" to have them.
They are going to want to feel that they are great lovers and that they give you great ones. You may be in a position where you feel that you ought to fake them. This is not a good idea. How do you really have great ones? Denial for months or years is not necessarily going to guarantee that you will have big O’s.
As a few men here have pointed out, your belts are actually a good way to prevent yourself from having great O’s.
That is, going for a long time without being sexual -- not necessarily without having a climax -- is not good for your sexuality. But wearing the belt -- not masturbating -- kind of means finding your Buddha nature -- pushing it aside, being less of a sexual person -- as I try to -- and that is not bad.
But you can't just turn stuff off and on like a light switch and you may well want it later unless you just became a nun.
However, there is no real damage that intelligent actions cannot mitigate later. But what is the mitigation going to look like?
At the risk of giving you information which might be too exciting now, you do need to know (later? Now?) how to develop the muscles and perhaps the psychology to have fantastic O’s so that you have great love lives if and when it is time to do so.
Also, there is the issue of kink and what it’s causes/etiology might be. It is obviously somewhat related as tease/denial is adjacent to the belts. The male chastity cage (which I wear) is brother to the belt.
There is a lot to say.
First, women have Kegel muscles which ought to be strengthened for various reasons. Childbirth sites tell you about them.
They could save your life in childbirth.
Even if not, they could prevent a c-section.
That could save your girlish figure -- a c-section can be difficult to recover from in terms of your overall muscle tone. Many women recover their figures from childbirth.
Can’t recall one offhand with a great figure after a c-section, personally.
Finally, the point, when you do want to have O's,
it is better for both partners in standard intercourse if your K muscles are strong.
How strong?
Messalina, the Empress of Rome, wife of the Emperor Claudius
could pick up, flip, and replace a coin on a table with them.
That is, without using her hands or toes.
That is history, not legend. Lots of history about her -- see I, Claudius.
She also defeated the Head of the Prostitutes Guild in a contest to see
which one could exhaust (drain) the most men without stopping, day and night.
The Madam said “her insides must be made out of old shoe leather!” when she lost.
Later, Messalina was executed for treason. But she knew about sex.
Her grip on the men, on their members, was as strong with her K muscles as it could have been
with her fist, and not just on the first man. That is how she won, if it’s not clear.
She did K muscle workouts! She could drain a man in a very short time, making him
say she was a great lover too.
The good news, you can do Kegel exercises without masturbation, and with no
objects inside. They will do you good later. And your O’s will be spectacular
screaming events – and short ones from intercourse only like in the movies.
SO many women have told me “there must be something wrong with me.
I can’t cum the way women do in the movies from 3 minutes of intercourse.”
I guess Messalina could?? Actually it is possible but not many women do often.
I have only made it happen a few times myself – it’s just not something to expect.
I have worked with women ( who were not ever in belts)
who had trouble reaching satisfying O’s.
I kind of presume due to what I read here that their (abuse) situations do not apply to most of you?
Many of you seem to have been (over?) protected. At least, well protected.
Well, better than abused!
For most of them ( and me ) there was at least one abuse incident while a minor.
Long story short adult O’s can be difficult due to various issues including self-esteem problems caused by self-esteem issues developed then. Sometimes lesbians in rural areas get this sort of thing due to the stigma associated with being gay.
The scenario for a victim is something like this.
Very nice man says “I love you.” Nice woman says to herself “he would not say that if he knew I was a slut.” (except the words are much worse than slut.) During normal, very nice and even overly polite sex acts, she is thinking why isn’t he being more rough? This feels fake! At some point she fakes O or does not. Either way is bad. If she fakes it he thinks He is a Great Lover for doing whatever he did. If she does not He Thinks He Cannot Make Her Cum and either way the relation ship is in trouble.
I think to some extent every woman has been groomed and then realized that the man was not really into her for this or that part of her personality or for this or that talent. it’s a horrible thing men do.
One of the things I am ashamed about regarding my sex. Men do a theatrical thing where we say “oh you are so interesting for this.”
Women – we never tell you enough how beautiful you are. And you are always supposed to be beautiful. And you Are. But it’s so hard.
As girls, you start telling each other that you aren’t. Cliques start telling tall skinny girls they are ugly. Oddly, these girls become the vogue models. I dated a woman who modeled in Vogue, Paris Match, all of those magazines. She was retired, 35 at the time. She was horribly bullied for being ugly, “flat” all the time she was an early and mid teenager. Hair pulled, everything.
So the point is, the man says I love you for this thing – not your beauty – and the woman says that is what I need. You know that your beauty will go away, especially after children, so you need the man who loves you for something else. But it’s a trick. So the women go for two kinds of men:
1) the Alpha big guy who hardly courts you at all but seems like a great protector. He has more ? Neanderthal blood than most of us (we all have some!) and could ? possibly be a bit violent later. He also could be less able to express himself, which could be why he might have anger issues later.
2) the guy who pretended he was into you for x but was really into you for your body, then your beauty went south after 2 decades so he left you. sorry, he now wants a younger girl. god i hate men. i have never left a woman for a younger woman
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3) the kind you don't go for? the sensitive beta guys who are not socially adept. the ones who didn't even ask you to dance or if they did you laughed at them. they kind of worshipped you and still do. if you wanted to, you could tie them up and make them kiss your feet. they tend never to be violent because they are average or smaller and have less testosterone, less Neanderthal dna. If homosexuals have even hemispheres of the brain (they do) these guys have something approximating that -- they understand women better because they are more like you. so they hate you less. the big guys keep saying "women, can't live with them, can't live without them" as if it's witty. the second part just means that they aren't gay. the first part means that they hate you.
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For me as a little boy the grooming thing was “oh you’re a good poet.” So we went places to talk about poetry. Then he was in my pants and I was giving him a bj while being held down by his knees. Terrified. So I think I have some tiny idea what it’s like to be a woman and how men treat you. Ugh.
That and other things like it made me and the women I worked with have problems with regular sex.
One of the stories here had a woman ask a man to take the keys to her chastity belt and he wasn’t interested. I could relate to that. The abuse victims “imprint” on being helpless and having their self-esteem taken away – those become associated with sex and with (later) touching themselves, even before O’s are possible, because this can start very early.
Anyway, the adult can’t alter their fantasies and has problems with their O’s.
The abused women I knew:
She either cannot have an O with someone else in the room , and even those are hard to get
(this is most of them, 9 out of 10), OR:
She has them but they are small and not satisfying. Like ten in 30 minutes.
These women tend to become swingers, polyamorous. It doesn’t do what they want it to do.
These are the issues I worked with to fix, and typically did fix.
There is always a fantasy life from the woman’s teens that needs to be worked out and satisfied. You relive the abuse or self-esteem issues but go to a different outcome – this is called Mastery. For example, in abuse you may have been left alone crying on the floor sad at 1) realizing that the grooming was fake – he was not into you as a person but for what is in your pants and 2) it was terrifying, he hurt you, you can’t get up, you are crying...
When you relive it, the abuse is similar but your partner actually loves you. It just looks rough. At the end they say something like “good girl, you were good for your daddy today” or some silly thing and you may cry but you are happy. I know, to someone who was never abused it still sounds like abuse. But for me personally – and I like women to do this to me – it feels really great. And this is the only way they can have those really big O’s ever ever ever. “Vanilla” sex will never ever work for them. Just so you know – kink is not something extra people do to have more fun. It’s their only way to have fun.
The basic answer for problem 1 is role play and mastery. For #2 you can edge and use the chastity belts in combination with edging. Then permit O’s only one day a week. For example, just come as close as possible to an O 3 or even 5 times a day every day but Saturday and then cum all day Saturday to the point of being painful. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. I prescribed this stuff mostly in the 1990s and thought I was pretty cool but now it’s like incredibly expanded and complex and is a big THING!
This website
https://edging-and-orgasm-denial.tumblr.com/archive
by an interesting man has an incredible number of female (an almost no male!) followers who seem to do whatever he says. I think it has more material than this site! But this is the cure.
They are like his disciples and he is like their spiritual leader in the apparently Vast and Oceanic International Religion of Infinitely Long Female Masturbation Without Ever Reaching Orgasm But Always Wanting To.
As someone who has given vaguely similar prescriptions but with far less stipulations, I am kind of in awe of both him and of what the woman are willing to do. At the risk of getting a bit edgy here (pun intended):
There is also an art film sort of about this called Les Anges Exterminateurs – the Killer Angels which you might want to either see or avoid like the plague! It's kind of f unny if you don't mind -- look it up in wicki before you look:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Les_Anges_Exterminateurs
If you do take off the belt and find that you are not really that responsive. Do something. You should be able to have 10 O's per day with 3 or 4 screaming ones. Or your lover is no good, not attentive, not giving you head, or not giving you head the way I would -- it's not foreplay, it's supposed to last 20 minutes to 2 hours per O. Men do it as foreplay just as lubrication because they are "just not that into you." then it's not your fault! wrong guy.
If you are not yelling during cunnilingus or cant cum in a way that drains you so that you can't move for 5 minutes there is no physical problem and it can be fixed. something written above or in that tumblr website will work.
thanks
your sissy
Stephanie